One joy expected, another given

From C.S. Lewis' Perelandra:
"...it may be, one finds a different fruit and not the fruit one thought of. One joy was expected and another is given. But this I had never noticed before--that the very moment of the finding there is in the mind a kind of thrusting back, or setting aside. The picture of the fruit you have not found is still, for a moment, before you. And if you wished--if it were possible to wish--you could keep it there. You could send your soul after the good you had expected, instead of turning it to the good you had got. You could refuse the real good; you could make the real fruit taste insipid by thinking of the other."

"And have you no fear... that it will ever be hard to turn your heart from the thing you wanted to the thing Maleldil sends?"
"...The wave you plunge into may be very swift and great. You may need all your force to swim into it. You mean, he might send me a good like that?"
"Yes--or like a wave so swift and great that all your force was too little."
"It often happens that way in swimming," said the Lady. "Is not that part of the delight?"

My friend Sally, swimming in Thailand

Learning instead of consuming

The following passage, quoted in Gordon T. Smith's Courage & Calling, stuck out to me during a day of reading yesterday:

"Learning is perhaps the only pleasure that might replace increasing consumption as our chosen mode of enriching experience. Someday, the joy of recognizing a pattern in a leaf or the geological strata in a cliff face might replace the satisfactions of new carpeting or more horsepower in an engine, and the chance to learn in the workplace might seem more valuable than increased purchasing power or a move up the organizational chart."

Smith goes on to comment:
"But this will only come about, as Bateson implies, when we come to see knowledge as a source of delight rather than as a means of power. We enjoy learning because we enjoy discovery, the expansion of heart and mind, and growth in wisdom, not merely because it is a means by which we can accomplish something."

There's something revolutionary about the idea of replacing consumption with learning. We spend so much time acquiring stuff, much of it entertainment--pursued not for knowledge and discovery, but for mindless filling of time.

I fall into consumption even while ostensibly pursuing learning--way more often than I'd like to admit. I miss the nourishment of discovery when I binge instead of taking time to savor, to absorb and reflect on the stories I take in. How different would it be to pursue learning, "expansion of heart and mind, and growth in wisdom" instead of escape? I wish I could say I always read this way. Sometimes, but not enough.

I need poetry in my life

I regularly follow The Writer's Almanac. Partly because I'm the nerdy sort who likes reading small bits of info and stories about writers, books, etc. But also because I need poetry in my life. Poems help me slow down and read carefully. They make me pay attention and look more closely. And often, poetry says something my soul needs to hear. This was today's poem:

Trust
Thomas R. Smith

It's like so many other things in life
to which you must say no or yes.
So you take your car to the new mechanic.
Sometimes the best thing to do is trust.

The package left with the disreputable-looking
clerk, the check gulped by the night deposit,
the envelope passed by dozens of strangers—
all show up at their intended destinations.

The theft that could have happened doesn't.
Wind finally gets where it was going
through the snowy trees, and the river, even
when frozen, arrives at the right place.

And sometimes you sense how faithfully your life
is delivered, even though you can't read the address.

Housekeeping

Just wanted to point out a few updates to the blog. I've updated the links, specifically the ones to community blogs. In the "2009 community" section, you'll now find links to blogs from several of the 2009 apprentices & staff.

I've also added this year's reading list to the sidebar, if you're interested in checking out some of what we're reading and discussing together as a community. We're reading some amazing books this year, and I'm not just saying that because I'm coordinating the reading for the year! Actually, I think the books I'm most excited about are the ones I've already read for previous NC years.

Right now, we're most of the way through Henri Nouwen's book, Spiritual Direction. So far during the Listening posture, this book has dovetailed almost uncannily with each week's curriculum and other experiences. Nouwen has a ton of good stuff to say about how we hear God and are formed spiritually. Feel free to email me for our weekly discussion questions. =)